Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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