I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
