It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
