Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
