I wannas sexs uuuuu
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
