i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
