Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you guys were way drunker than both of me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
