I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Ketchup is God's man juice
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
