I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
