come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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