What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Randomize
