i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize