So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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