dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
