How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
