Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
