Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
