you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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