forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
