the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
