All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
