remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He passed out mid-signature
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Randomize
