brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
