So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
