WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
