I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
