I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
