I got chris browned last night
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
