I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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