don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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