So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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