I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
