Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
