Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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