Nicole vs. Life
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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