CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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