Are we in a gay sports bar?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize