just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize