is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
