babies were throwing up all over the place
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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