What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Congratulations! We have a period
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