So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
What drink are we having for lunch?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
