I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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