You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's shark week go big or go home
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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