Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize