Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
