Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
