Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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