my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just threw up on my dentist
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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