K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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