Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
