awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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