Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
