I wish I only lived at night.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
