Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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