Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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