Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
