I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
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