She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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