You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
whose ass print is on the piano?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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