Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
