He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
