just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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