how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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