i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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