she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
