im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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