I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
