I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
